When You Get In Your Own Way.

Just B - October 18, 2016

If Not Now, When?

Just B - October 18, 2016

Why Am I Struggling?

Just B - October 18, 2016

Photo Credit: BlackhairOMG.com

This was the subject title of an email I recently received from a lady, who randomly reached out to me.  She poured her heart out over the few email exchanges we had, and I had to commend her for taking such a bold step to do so, especially to me, a stranger.  She reminded me of the fact that, for most of us, we are all just smiling, yet suffering badly inside.  I was a champion at that! People saw me calm and collected, but never knew of the raging storms and battles within the walls of my mind.   Can you resonate with that? Deep down in your heart, ask yourself- ‘Am I happy in my life?’

I remember feeling a lack of passion for life and I felt like there was something deeply wrong with me.  I was unsettled, unhappy and just depressed.  I couldn’t put my finger on it and it made me miserable.  There is nothing worse than feeling like your life is unfulfilling, because it dulls the shine on all the wonderful blessings you have in your life already, and at the same time, it makes it hard for you to dream and for you to pursue life.

When I got to this stage of my life, I knew that it was an indication for me to start changing things.  I had to decide that I was no longer going to just let life happen to me.  No! I had to decide that, “you know what? Life is going to happen FOR me!”  I knew that I would have to be prepared to take steps of faith, try new things and become introspective about my life and about where I was heading.

A lot of us struggle with life, because we have adopted a ‘victim’ position in life and forgotten that we have a personal power that can literally create the kind of life we want.  If you are struggling in any area of your life, let me just say, that this is a fantastic opportunity for you to embark on a self-development journey and to begin to discover the real you, so that you can dream again and see the reality of your dreams.  This is what I did and I am still on that journey.

One of the first things I started to do in order to feel better about my life, was to start thinking and saying positive things about myself and my life.  I remember when I used to be so self-loathing and negative about myself. I hated the way I looked, I saw myself as a failure, I saw myself as unlovable, you name it! I really just didn’t like who I was, and it played out in every area of my life. I was disappointed with myself and this inevitably affected the way I valued myself.  Basically, I didn’t think I was worth it.  Listen, when we have low self-esteem and low self-worth, we create and attract situations in our lives that mirror the exact way we feel.  You can’t have negative feelings and expect positive things to happen.  The two are contradictory.

Take a moment right now, to really look at the general patterns of things happening in your life. What do you notice?  Are you attracting men who will never commit or love you the way you want? Are you in a job that feels like you are just going through the motions and you hate with a passion? Are you trapped in relationship or in an unhappy family setting? Are you jumping from job to job or struggling to find work? Are you clueless about your purpose in life?  What is that recurring theme for you in your life? Mine was all of the above and no wonder I was a miserable mess! No wonder I was struggling to find happiness in life! That was a whole lot of baggage to be carrying around every single day of my life.

So, the very short answer to the question of today’s post, is that you are struggling because you are carrying weights that should just be dropped.   “But how do I just drop them?”

Well, first thing you must understand, is that it all starts with the mind.  Before our situations ever become unbearable in our lives, it has usually started as a lost battle in our minds. Whenever you let that negative thought go unrestrained, you form a pathway for more of such thoughts to come flooding through.  You must learn to catch yourself when you start thinking in a negative way.  Make a conscious effort to stop such thoughts dead in their tracks and reverse that thought straight away.  Get into the habit of this.  It will feel like a lie at first, but keep doing it and eventually you will start to see change.

Secondly, you need to find fulfillment in life, and this only comes from finding inner peace and happiness.  Only your self-development journey will help you discover this.  On this journey you will heal parts of your soul that was broken, you will come into a better understanding of yourself that will reveal what your life’s purpose is.  This journey will give you boldness to dream big, take chances and become the best that you can be.  One of the ways I started on my self-development journey was through reading books that were based on this subject matter.  Click on Just B’s Reading Corner, so you see my reading list.  When you get there, find a book that resonates with you and just start your journey from there.

Now, let me sign off with an encouragement to you.  You may or may not realize it, but being tired of the struggle of life is the beginning of a journey that will both heal and strengthen you.  Don’t give up! Get up and get your life back!

What are you struggling with? Comment below.

Till next time, stay well and be encouraged!

Just B


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  1. Really nice… You just helped me relieve my pain… I’m so depressed… Hopefully I’ll get through this with a post like this often

    1. Hi Nath, thank you for taking the time to read the post and for being open about where you are at in life right now. Stay strong and keep focused! Subscribe to our newsletter or send your details through our contact page and we can discuss ways to get you fully back on track with life! You don’t have to go through it alone. Stay strong xxx

  2. Hi B,thanks for your message. Uve been at this stage at some point in my life.. And with a lot of effort I was able to get put of it.but when you don’t feel any of these what do you do,when you are not depressed neither are you happy, when you are not suicidal neither do you want to live,when you don’t even know what’s happening and how to describe how you feel to anyone… What do you do then because that’s where I am right now

    1. Hey Brenda! When you discover your purpose in life and when you start walking and growing in that purpose, you start find happiness in the expression of your authentic self, you start to have a reason to live which leads to passion. When these things start happening you’ll find yourself in a better space in life. Keep positive and push deeper within. The answer is always within. xx

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